I hurt for her

the first series of news to make my heart skip a beat and fear the worst…

Nicole, (our faboo Social worker) calls, and says that “yes, they are still planning on following with an adoption plan” but they are ALL very emotional, and there’s lots of crying, and they are planning on taking her home Sunday night to have their “one night” with her, and then we go over to their house on Monday morning with our SW and her SW, and if they like us enough and feel comfortable, she will sign her surrender documents.

it’s our openess that has drawn her to us, and I pray we all have the strength to get through this together.

I cannot imagine a more terrible time for her, joyous and yet fearful for us.

it’s so easy to get caught up in our OWN sturmunddrang, that I can forget just HOW painful it is for a parent to give up a child for adoption. She must be going through soooo many emotions right now, my heart hurts for her.

I’m a mess.

I want what is best for this baby, but we so desperately want to be parents, too.

My hope is that she will continue with the adoption plan, and we’ll end up having gained a new family member, in the guise of our child’s birth mother.

that is my prayer.

15 thoughts on “I hurt for her

  1. Oh my goodness. my missus told me earlier that she’d had the baby and my fingers have been crossed extra tight since then. I’m sending so many good thoughts your way and the way of the birth mother and her family…. as i’m sure all of us are.

    martha (mosquito)

  2. I’ve been thinking of you all evening and hoping for the best.

    From what I’ve heard, it sounds like the baby would be better off with you…but I cant imagine how hard this must be for her birth mother.

    All the best to you and Narda as you sit and wait and hope for the best. I’ll be waiting for news on Monday that you are mommies for sure!


  3. Thinking of you ladies. I don’t think it’s in their best interest or yours that they are bringing that baby home. My Mom looked at her baby and signed the adoption papers and my friend held her baby a few times before signing. No bonding!!!! I wonder if the family are thinking about helping her raise this kid? Keep us in the loop and I hope you are parenting this baby soon.

  4. I’m holding all of the many people who already love this baby in my heart and hoping that everyone has the strength and support they need to get through this hard time. Lots of love to you and Narda especially,

    J & C

  5. Oh gosh sweetie. I hope all goes well and their need to take the baby home is just the need to say a proper goodbye.

    Good luck,

  6. I’m sending everyone (the baby, the birth family, you and Narda) lots and lots of white light and healing thoughts.

    Good luck!

  7. Wishing you all the very best and praying this works out in the best interest of everyone;)

    Best wishes,
    A lurker who follows your story

  8. I’m wishing the best for all of you, which I think of course is for the BM to relinquish the baby to you. I can’t imagine being a BM and having to make that very hard decision, but it’s clearly in the best interest of that sweet little girl and ultimately the BM too.

    It does make the situation more tricky that the family is spending time bonding. I too hope it’s just a proper goodbye.

    Enjoy what could be your last couple of days a childless couple! I’ll be thinking of you through Monday.

  9. You continue to amaze me with the depth of empathy you feel for everyone else, even in the midst of all that is going on. I am praying that come Monday morning your family has grown with more love that you ever thought possible.

  10. Shelli, I’ve follwed your sage advice and wonderful story for a long time on FF. Your love and compassion for the BM speaks volumes on what kind of Moms you and Narda will be. We’re in the process of adopting our son through foster care and even though his mom didn’t make the wisest choices I can’t imagine what she went though. Just know that many baby vibes and prayers are coming to you guys from this adoptive momma in Kansas.

    SO excited to see your family grow with this beautiful little girl!

  11. thanks everyone. I will do my best to post on Monday, but may not have the time or energy. I’ll try to call a few folks, and ask them to post on FF.

    I’m hoping that I’ll be posting pictures, instead of sharing my therapy appointments…

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