the first series of news to make my heart skip a beat and fear the worst…
Nicole, (our faboo Social worker) calls, and says that “yes, they are still planning on following with an adoption plan” but they are ALL very emotional, and there’s lots of crying, and they are planning on taking her home Sunday night to have their “one night” with her, and then we go over to their house on Monday morning with our SW and her SW, and if they like us enough and feel comfortable, she will sign her surrender documents.
it’s our openess that has drawn her to us, and I pray we all have the strength to get through this together.
I cannot imagine a more terrible time for her, joyous and yet fearful for us.
it’s so easy to get caught up in our OWN sturmunddrang, that I can forget just HOW painful it is for a parent to give up a child for adoption. She must be going through soooo many emotions right now, my heart hurts for her.
I’m a mess.
I want what is best for this baby, but we so desperately want to be parents, too.
My hope is that she will continue with the adoption plan, and we’ll end up having gained a new family member, in the guise of our child’s birth mother.
that is my prayer.