I had SO many titles for this post in my head, but they all involved massive nasty swear words.
I just wish that the “come backs” would come to me DURING, and not 5 minutes later.
Malka and I were walking home from daycare, and having our usual smiling encounters with the locals. So it didn’t surprise me when this one “lady” said: “Oh, who’s baby?” I said: “Mine.” And smiled. She then said: “No, who’s the mom?” And I looked at her somewhat quizzically, and said: “me.” She then said: “No, I mean, who’s the REAL mom?” And I looked at her, and said firmly, “I AM her REAL mom.” She then said: “Yeah, I bet,” and walked away, as I pushed Malka in the other direction.
It was all I could do not to cry right then and there. I mean seriously? What the hell? SO many emotions and reactions sprung forth into the chasm of that exact moment. “Will Malka have to answer such idiot questions when she’s older?” “How do I shield Malka from the hatred that we had just experienced?” “WHO in the hell does she think she is?” ” I AM her REAL mother, dammit!” And the inevitable Lifetime Movie script started laying in my head: “Who got up with her 30 million times during the night when she was a baby?” “Who changes her diapers, loves her, feeds here, is there for her, IS her ‘REAL’ mom in every sense of the word?”
I mean, I KNOW that I’m her “real” mom, and I KNOW that that woman was all of the nasty words I can think of, but it still hurt. I know that we live in NYC, and are BLESSED to have not encountered such hatred before, when so many of you probably have already. It’s just horrible.