Vent ahead – WARNING….

We could have a baby next week if it wasn’t for the fact that NYC is So (*&&^%^$#%$%#$&^%$*&^()&*(**& hard to work with in terms of adoption!

We got a call form a friend that a baby is due in California, and they WANT it to go to a same sex couple! She calls us, we call our SW, and they call the appropriate people, I send all of our stuff to them via e-mail, and then BAM.

They say that we’d have to live in California for 6-9 months while the adoption finalized.


And then, there are about 5 agencies that are SENDING BABIES TO CANADA for adoption, because there aren’t enough black families her ein the states, but some of them won’t work with gays and lesbians, and ALL of them won’t work with NY.


If we want to adopt internationally, we’d have to LIE and pretend for one of us to be a single mother. We are NOT willing to do that.

We tried for a year and a half with A.R.T. to get pregnant, and it didn’t work – WHY IS THIS SO HARD, WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY BABIES IN NEED OF A GOOD HOME!


OK, thanks for letting me vent – ARGH!


  1. Arrrrrghhhhh in*fucking*deed. sushi tomorrow? You are on.

    If we are destined to be sushi and wine swigging whores then at least we can do it together.

  2. Thats truly CRAZY! I never understood that, how they could pass up really good parents for whatever screwed up reason and so many children are in need of a good home!!

  3. Shelli,
    Is it really all countries where you can adopt internationally that do not allow same sex couples? I knew about China…:(

  4. Well, I am adding your blog to my list… this is totally what I am going through (well, no one has offered me a californian baby, and I AM in Canada)… the lesbian mothers’ association is having a meeting with a lawyer next week to discuss our strategy with the branch of adoption officials here who deal with international adoptions. Weirdly in Quebec, since they have their own control over immigration, not like the other provinces, ALL the rest of Canada is considered international for us, along with the States and the rest of the world. And they are not accepting any lgbt candidates since they say “no international countries will allow lgbt parents”. But that is not true. I could adopt openly from Ontario, or BC, or the states, except for I would need to go through them. Here it is totally legal for gay couples to adopt (and marry, file joint taxes etc), and it is crazy that they are using other countries as an excuse to block adoption. Myself, I have come up against the craziness you have, and have decided (at least for now) to go forward with foster care adopt. But it makes me so angry. My straight friends got a wonderful daughter from China about 4 months ago after only about 7 months process. blahhhhh!! I hear your frustration and second it.

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