Here’s the latest on the DC situation…
An e-mail from our friend, who met with the birth mom:
Met the birth mom, what a hoot that was, brought up the option of adoption and showed her your profile, she stated she thought you’d make wonderful parents, but she wasn’t ready to give him up for adoption, even though she talked about it, she stated that she wants to keep him for now, but just needs help! WTF? Wants to keep him for now? He’s not a dog! Hell I love my dog more than that, I held back the furry and the words of, You ungrateful fucking bitch, how dare you consider something so precious and so wonderful, so worthless and think nothing but about yourself and how much free time you have! Instead I said, well good luck with raising him and your other children and if you’re decision changes and you’re serious, please let me know.
Will it EVER be our turn? I KNOW, in my heart of hearts, that when it DOES happen, that all of this waiting, as if in the middle of a life-long prison sentence, will vanish in an instant.
But that does not, in any way, shape or form, take away from how I am feeling today. And DAMN! The holidays get harder each year – the first year without children, Narda and I said, ah, well, NEXT year, we’ll be mommies; with a sparkle in our eyes, and hope in our hearts. Then last year came and went, and we reveled in the joy of our friend’s kids, we were just finished “sperminating” and beginning the adoption journey, again, the sparkle in our eyes, and hope in our hearts.
This year? Although I’m SO truly terribly thrilled for those women who “get me,” that are pregnant or already are parents (and Cat, Jen, Em, Sacha, Jennifer, Conch, etc. You KNOW who you are – this is NOT directed at YOU – KNOW THIS!) I’m SO bitter and jealous and hurt and angry. I spend so much time focusing on being the supportive friend to others, that I need to steal the spotlight a bit, and mope.
I Know this, too, shall pass. But I’m still in a sucky place. PLUS, I have the nastiest cold ever, and my period started today.