When we first started our adoption journey, after one and half years of TTC (trying to concieve) with the full gammut of medical support, we had NO idea how our path would unfold.
We thought it would take 3 years for a birth mother to pick us, a Bi-racial, Jewish, lesbian couple. That’s a LOT of adjectives, and a sublime picture of diversity. So imagine our surprize when on May 5th, 2005, just 2 months after we completed our homestudy on March 1st, 2005, we got a call that a birth mother had picked us. We were elated, thrilled, and excited. Our agency slowed things down a bit, and as I’m sure many of you recall, he ended up being a very sick baby, and we sadly said no to that “situation.” (Our agency uses the term “situation” quite often, and now, so do we – but that’s another blog entry for another day…) Our faboo social worker, Nicole, would call us almost once a month with yet another “situation,” and comment on how much “positive activity” we were getting. it kept us elated for a while, but then, as similar to our ttc journey, we began to wear a veneer of self protection – some people call it bitterness, we call it self preservation. With each call, we would get excited, but remain reserved.
In August, 2005, we came the closest we had ever gotten, and had booked plane tickets home early from LA, to pick up our daughter. The birth mother decided to parent, and we were devastated. Everyone kept telling us that she wasn’t meant to be our daughter, and even though they were right, it did not take away from the hurt. “Why us?” “Why do we, basically good people, have to have hope shown to us and then dashed away?” “what have we done wrong to the universe that we are being punished so?” (OK, that one was mine, Narda was not so into the universal punishment thing…)
With each passing call, we realized HOW blessed we were, as there are SO many people who don’t even get a call in 16 months, and we had received 8. So we were lucky.
Then January 27th, 2006, we got the call that brought Malka into our lives.
The infamous “they” tell you that once you hold your child in your arms, the one that is meant to be yours, that all of the pain of infertility, or failed adoptions fall away. And to a degree, they are right. I still have a HUGE hole in my heart from the infertility and adoption failures, but the magic thread that is patching it up is sleeping right now, allowing her Eemah a chance to write and shre that today is day 30 after her birth mother signed away her rights. Today is the day that Malka Velma Angel is our daughter in just one more way. We knew in the back of our minds that this day would come and go, just like any other, but the fact that it is here brings MUCH relief to us, none the less.
Thank you all SO much for the support and love over the years, it has helped in MORE ways than you can imagine, and I cannot wait for Malka to be old enough to read, so that we can show her ALL of the love pouring forth into her form all over the world.
There’s no looking back now…