Playing hookey!

From my chores, that is…

Here’s a day in the life, while my beloved is off in NJ doing Radio Golf. (We did have about 1/2 hour together this am, however, and it was enough to see my b’sheret, and have our family reunited for a spell…)

6:15am – alarm goes off (theoretically, as I rarely hear it).

6:45-7:00am – 2nd Alarm, (aka, Malka Palka Pooka Palka) goes off.

7:05am – Yell at alarm clock for not working, hop out of bed, inadvertantly trip over cat enroute to the loo.

7:10am – After using said loo, go to kitchen, step in cat puke. Grab paper towel, go back and clean up said puke. Go to linen closet, grab carpet cleaner, further clean up spot on rug. Remember purpose for heading through hallway that originally had me step in puke, wash hands, pour milk, go back to loo, take meds, (remind self to NOT brush teeth… see later).

7:20am – Listen at bedroom door for MP3 sounds, and if no sounds (she settled back down or is playing), feed cats, plug in coffee maker, make Malka’s lunch. If she’s still fussy, go in and greet her highness for the day – if she giggles and grins, it will be a good morning. If she’s still fussy, watch out!

7:30am – Give MP3 bottle WHILE getting her out of jammies and into clothes – THIS, my friends, is key. Diaper and clothing changes have become somewhat of an olympic event, and her bak-buk gives me about 4 minutes of fuss-free time. All I have to do is say “switch” when I need an arm to go through a sleeve, and she’ll switch the hand she uses to hold her bak-buk.

7:34am – Turn on cd of fun kid songs (Thanks, Jen and Cait!) and bop head. This allows Malka to forget that her bak-buk is empty, and that music!is!on!fun! so she’ll bop her head and let me slather her face with lotion, oil and pik out her hair, and put a pony tail holder in it.

7:40am – Dance with Malka in her room. BLISS, people. PURE bliss.

7:43am – Put Malka into the blue ‘restraining device” (actually, her vibrating chair that’s also a rocker), and “brush teeth.” If you ask Malka if she wants to brush her teeth, she’ll head to our bathroom and reach up towards the sink, and the toothbrush area. So we BOTH brush our teeth (see above).

7:45am – Frantically hop in shower, playing peek-a-boo through the shower curtain, wash important bits, hop out, slap on some lotion, put on clothes, do stand-up routine for Malka, throw on some random hair product, while singing “itsy bitsy akaveesh” for the 900th time.

8:00am – Put coat on Malka, put Malka in stroller, put un-eaten waffle in zip lock bag for ride to daycare. Put coat on self, grab everything I can remember, leave.

8:20am – Arrive at daycare, watch Malka giggle at the thought of getting OUT of the stroller, take her out, remove coat, put away her lunch in her room, encourage Malka to come INTO the room from the hallway, watch her shake her head “no,” then start dancing, and watch her toddle into room to hug all of her boyfriends. I kid you not, she’s already a heart breaker! One boy screams MALKA! as soon as she walks in, another runs over to KISS her. Another runs over to DANCE with her – holding out his hands and all. We are SO screwed!

8:30am – Blow my little love a kiss, tell her I love her, and bolt out the door.

9:05-9:15am – Arrive at work.

4:00pm (OK, usually 4:30) Leave work, head to daycare to pick up MP3 (BEST part of my day!)

5:30-5:55pm – Arrive at daycare, chat with a few parents who are also doing pick-ups, chat with Louise, or Suzanne, or Jacqueline, or “Tia Raquel,” about her day, about their fun activities, watch Malka run to me, but not want to leave…

6:05pm – Head out the door of daycare, sometimes stopping by the healthfood store to pick up some extra Milk or other random necessities, try to walk home quickly.

6:30-6:45pm – Arrive at home, take the giggle girl Out of the stroller (who probably spent a good 3/4 of the walk home screaming), watch her chase the cats.

6:45pm – Hope she plays solo for a bit as I scramble together a dinner for her.

7:00pm – “Feed the baby!” While she eats, remove shoes and socks, play the “stinky feet” game – basically, smell her feet after her removing the socks, and say “stinky feet, stinky feet, baby’s got the stinky feet!” She giggles up a storm. While she finishes her dinner, sneak away and prep her last bak-buk of the day, fill her humidifyer, dash back to help her out with the last bits of dinner.

7:15-7:20pm – BATH!

7:30pm – “Pat da baby, pat, pat da baby, baby, pat da baby, pat pat da baby.” Because of her eczema, we don’t rub her dry, we pat her dry, but ever since she was younger, aka, “easier to lift out of the tub,” we’ve wrapped her up in her towel, and spoke-sung the “pat da baby” song. If she catches herself in the bathroom mirror, she’ll giggle. Then it’s all about slathering her in Aquaphor, diapering her, getting her into her jam-jams, (the bak-buk helps big time here, too), giving her a “puff-puff” from her inhalor, and trying to get it all in before the bak-buk is finished, so that we can have a few moments of snuggle time on the sleeper-futon-thinggy.

7:40pm – Whilst humming “od yavoh shalom aleynu,” carry her to her crib, kiss her, put her in, make sure she has her lovey, cover her with her blankie, zip the crib tent, KEEP HUMMING, walk out door.

7:45pm – Collapse on the sofa for a few…

8:00pm – Make dinner. Veg out in front of tv for a bit.

9:00pm – Feed cats*, load dishwasher, tidy up living room from the toy cyclone that is Malka, prep coffee maker for the am, empty litter boxes.

11:00pm – Crawl into bed, let all three cats re-arrange ME to suit THEIR sleeping needs, watch Good Eats, ( I *HEART* Alton Brown!), call Narda to say goodnight.

12Midnight – Turn off TV, roll over, say the Shemah, go to sleep.

So, um, TONIGHT? I’m pouring myself a lovely glass of Penfold’s Bin 389, watching some Trashy Reality TV, and going to bed early. I’m totally playing hookey from my chores. (Except feeding the cats, because, you know, that’d just be mean. And Juno’s on meds, so she needs her evening snack).

But yeah, I’m totally playing hookey. I’ll do it all tomorrow night…

*There’s currently a pet food recall on a serious amount of pet foods. All by the Menu Foods company. Please go here and make sure that your pet foods are NOT on this list!

4 thoughts on “Playing hookey!

  1. That’s a great pet food link, thanks so much. My sister’s been looking into it and cannot believe how disgustingly the company is handling this, they knew they had a problem for ages yet still sold the pet food. For a while they offered refunds to breeders who reported problems, but didn’t recall the products then. Dirty dirty business, and so sad with the loss of 10 pets thus far.

  2. How do I love Alton Brown? Let me count the ways: I have like, 8 of his 3 pack DVD collections. They are so so good. Lemme know if you want to borrow:)

  3. I absolutely loved this post! It was funny, sweet and so much fun! You do such an amazing job as a mother, it is great fun to watch from the outside!

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