Cali asked us to make a post about remembering. I share about what we lost, and about what we’ve learned. It seems a lifetime ago. But I’ve never forgotten.
Friday, August 12, 2005
the first series of news to make my heart skip a beat and fear the worst…
Nicole, (our faboo Social worker) calls, and says that “yes, they are still planning on following with an adoption plan” but they are ALL very emotional, and there’s lots of crying, and they are planning on taking her home Sunday night to have their “one night” with her, and then we go over to their house on Monday morning with our SW and her SW, and if they like us enough and feel comfortable, she will sign her surrender documents.
it’s our openess that has drawn her to us, and I pray we all have the strength to get through this together.
I cannot imagine a more terrible time for her, joyous and yet fearful for us.
it’s so easy to get caught up in our OWN sturmunddrang, that I can forget just HOW painful it is for a parent to give up a child for adoption. She must be going through soooo many emotions right now, my heart hurts for her.
I’m a mess.
I want what is best for this baby, but we so desperately want to be parents, too.
My hope is that she will continue with the adoption plan, and we’ll end up having gained a new family member, in the guise of our child’s birth mother.
that is my prayer.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
What more can be said. Her SW called me just now and told me the news.
We’ll keep you posted as to the next one.
Monday, August 15, 2005
I only learned this week, after three years of ttc, how much my friends really DO care. I had stopped telling them about every failed IUI, about every adoption call that fell through, but with this most recent one (we should have been bringing our daughter home today…) – they all came through for me – Why?
Because I asked them to – I sent an e-mail saying that I didn’t need to be cheered up, that I just needed them to be there. And they were.
Shocked the shit out of me, to be honest.
I want to simply share that if you ask for what you need, you just might get it…