We “entered pool” on August 4th, 2008 for sibling #2. The way the process works is that a birth mother will “present” with the agency, and then is shown a book with family profiles – each page has a picture and a “Dear Birth Mother” letter. Typically, a Birth Mother will be drawn to 1 to 5 families, and will let their social worker know. Then HER social worker calls the social worker of the families she expressed interest in, and the social worker for the families will call them, reading the “intake” for the Birth Mother. If the families say “yes,” then the Birth Mother is presented the photo albums of the families, and she makes a decision. After that, the adoptive family, and the Birth Mother will meet, and then the Birth Mother is given some time to solidify her decision, and about a week later, is presented paperwork to sign. She then has 30 days to change her mind. After the 30 day period is up, parental rights are terminated. Which is why so many Birth Mothers these days want open adoption. We couldn’t agree more. Open adoption is the ONLY option for us, and Malka is a wonderful result of that process.
I share all of this, because people always ask me “how does this work?” The above paragraph is the short version. En route to Malka, if you care to read through the archives of this blog, starting in April of 2005, you can see why today, we are guarded about our excitement. Malka was our ninth “situation,” or our 9th phone call. In the end, we wouldn’t do things any differently. Because our cheeky was meant to be our cheeky. And she knew it, too. That’s why it happened the way it did.
Last week, I got an e-mail asking me if we wanted our profile on their website, we said sure! Here’s a link. Shelli & Narda. Today, Nicole, our faboo social worker (FSW) called. With a “situation.” We are allowing “some” happy dancing, but this is just ‘stage 1’ as it were – she has picked 4 families, she is due on November 2nd, and it sounds like a great situation indeed. So we wait and see what her decision is. Because we are not “the” family (yet, G-d willing, spit, spit, knock wood, toss salt, spit, spit, keinihora), I won’t go into any details yet. Except to say the the Birth Mother will meet with HER social worker on Friday or Monday, and to please think good thoughts for us on those days.
Like I said, it’s nice just to be nominated…